So unfortunately my flowers didn’t arrive. I guess it’s proof that maybe technology is not as reliable as we all like to think it is. Being so far away has been so difficult for me. I know people think that with me almost being 30 that it should be fine and easy to be away from my mom. But it’s not. It seems like it gets harder every day. You’re not only my mom, you’re my best friend and have inspired me every day to be a stronger and a better person than I could ever even strive to be. You have taught me everything that I know to try to get through the day, but honestly… at the end of the day, as it turns to night, I can’t help but feel isolated and alone because I’m so far away from you. When I get all crazy inside, you are the one I call, and talk nonsense too. I know you think I’m crazy and neurotic and can’t control my own life, but even just knowing you’re at the other end of my phone brings me some sort of sanity. I feel as though people around me take their parents for granted. I would give anything to be able to drive 5 minutes down the road and eat dinner with you. Talk about stupid movies and books with you. Check out the latest gadgets Dad has bought you. All of it. I would love to be there with you.
I have been up all night (thank you chronic insomnia) listening to my records. My earliest memory of you and me involves this album…
I remember asking to listen to the Beatles nonstop, and this would be - 9 times out of 10 - the one that would get dropped on to the record player. I remember dancing and singing around the living room to these songs. I remember memorizing every lyric to every song on this album and being able to sing along with you at every note. And this album is what revolutionized my life. You introduced me to a band that has shaped not only my passion for music, but my cultural outlook on life and the drive that I have in life. I would be lost without these memories, and you gave them to me. There is nothing that makes me happier than putting these records on and remembering dancing around the house with Loni and making you smile. And what’s even crazier, is I remember one of the first times that I think I really impressed Dad was when I drew the portrait of John Lennon from this album. This album is a reflection of me and you and maybe that’s why I love it so much.
It’s truly amazing what music can stir within us, and every time I listen to this album I listen to my childhood with you. And it makes me so happy to know that I have the greatest mom on the planet. You let me grow up to just be me. And I might be crazy, and nerdy (so nerdy… it’s ridiculous) and overemotional and obsessed with music and art… but it’s me. And you showed me that it’s ok to be me. You’ve always been there to listen to me, to support me, to be that rock that will always love me no matter what happens. Thank you Mom. I can’t even begin to thank you for the wonderful things you’ve done for me. It kills me that I can’t be there with you today, but I hope you know that if I could be there… I would.
I love you.